DISCLAIMER: This is a purely fictitious piece. I am not dropping out of school, and I do not know of any Adwoa, nor have I heard stories about her promiscuity. Any semblance to any real life person or situation is purely coincidental.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to it. This is a letter a university student wrote to his big brother at home (I’m not entirely sure it was necessary to tell you that, but I still did. You can’t beat me, can you?):
Yo bro, how things dey for house? You still dey chase that girl Adwoa? Cos me I hear some wild things about am. But that be another topic for another time. Today, ebi my schooling and future I want talk about. Bro see, this thing I think about am critically, wey I see say this be the only choice I get. Chale, I want to drop out of school. Make you no shout, Fool! That thing dey your body. Relax make I explain first. You dey kai as Mummy thems ask me say where my results dey wey I say the portal dey fokop so idey wait make them fix the issue? Yeah, I lied. Nothing dey do the portal, ebi fail idey fail for school. As idey talk to you right now my G.P.A dey look like the change ego lef after you take 2 cedis buy pure water three. I really nodey see the school top. But make you no shake, I get plan. You know my paddy Asamoah? The guy them sack am as we dey SHS? Yeah that guy! I meet am like a month ago. Akwesi, you for see the guy now! Herh! He get car, wey nobe just any car o, Benz my guy. S class! Bro, I really shock as I see am cos this guy for school then who ihn head die pass am? Me and him got talking and that be when I come find out say he no really dey do any legit business. Ebi credit card fraud he dey do. He dey show me inside small small, but the school is interfering with it, and it’s not like idey force for school too. So i sit down plan everything. I want halt the schooling for a year or two take really learn the thing, then I go enter am full time. Asamoah say he start three years this. My plan be say I go do am for like four years, the initial year or two excluded, all along I go dey invest the money. I hear say Forex trading dey go on waaa. If not that too, then I go open shops all around dey sell various items. At least that should get me grounded, then I go stop the fraud. The reason why idey tell you this be say inor fi lie to everybody for house, and I also need you to have my back. Don’t worry, everything go set. I plan am all. Make you no tell Mummy and Daddy just yet i beg you. Them go come know and understand, all in due time. I can always go back to school, but this opportunity no go dey forever. You were always the smart one, me deɛ school never be my own. I hope say you go understand me.
Yours truly,
Bonsamposuro.
Words & Warmth 